Afro-punk
Black male privilege checklist
I just got this in my e-mail at school, and thought it was interesting enough to merit posting. When I first saw the title of the article, The Black Male Privilege Checklist, my first instinct was to get defensive. Then when I started reading through the list, I kept saying to myself, "Hmm, you know, that makes sense... this guy has a point."
(And yes, a guy did write it - when I saw the name in the link, I thought it was authored by a woman, which made me uncomfortable. Not because I don't think that women can make these points and be credible - hell, it's happened before, even if they haven't all been present in the same place - but because I'm leery about anything that makes it easy for women to be dismissed as "man-haters" and for that to be taken as a synonym to "feminist." Make sense?)
I also think a lot of these items can be applied to men of color in general, as opposed to just black men, which is yet more food for thought.
Anyway, here is the list for your consideration... what do y'all make of it? I think it's provocative, and there are even some of them that I don't agree with, but I am all for uncomfortable points that get people talking about positive action. ^_^
The Black Male Privilege Checklist
Leadership & Politics
1. I don't have to choose my race over my sex in political matters.
2. When I read African American History textbooks, I will learn mainly about black men.
3. When I learn about the Civil Rights Movement & the Black Power Movements, most of the leaders that I will learn about will be black men.
4. I can rely on the fact that in the near 100-year history of national civil rights organizations such as the NAACP and the Urban League, virtually all of the executive directors have been male.
5. I will be taken more seriously as a political leader than black women.
6. Despite the substantial role that black women played in the Civil Rights Movement and Black Power Movement, currently there is no black female that is considered a "race leader".
7. I can live my life without ever having read black feminist authors, or knowing about black women's history, or black women's issues.
8. I can be a part of a black liberation organization like the Black Panther Party where an "out" rapist Eldridge Cleaver can assume leadership position.
9. I will make more money than black women at equal levels of education and occupation.
10. Most of the national "opinion framers" in Black America including talk show hosts and politicians are men.
Beauty
11. I have the ability to define black women's beauty by European standards in terms of skin tone, hair, and body size. In comparison, black women rarely define me by European standards of beauty in terms of skin tone, hair, or body size.
12. I do not have to worry about the daily hassles of having my hair conforming to any standard image of beauty the way black women do.
13. I do not have to worry about the daily hassles of being terrorized by the fear of gaining weight. In fact, in many instances bigger is better for my sex.
14. My looks will not be the central standard by which my worth is valued by members of the opposite sex.
Sex & Sexuality
15. I can purchase pornography that typically shows men defile women by the common practice of the "money shot.?
16. I can believe that causing pain during sex is connected with a woman's pleasure without ever asking her.
17. I have the privilege of not wanting to be a virgin, but preferring that my wife or significant other be a virgin.
18. When it comes to sex if I say "No", chances are that it will not be mistaken for ?Yes".
19. If I am raped, no one will assume that "I should have known better" or suggest that my being raped had something to do with how I was dressed.
20. I can use sexist language like bonin?, laying the pipe, hittin-it, and banging that convey images of sexual acts based on dominance and performance.
21. I can live in a world where polygamy is still an option for men in the United States as well as around the world.
22. In general, I prefer being involved with younger women socially and sexually
23. In general, the more sexual partners that I have the more stature I receive among my peers.
24. I have easy access to pornography that involves virtually any category of sex where men degrade women, often young women.
25. I have the privilege of being a part of a sex where "purity balls" apply to girls but not to boys.
26. When I consume pornography, I can gain pleasure from images and sounds of men causing women pain.
Popular Culture
27. I come from a tradition of humor that is based largely on insulting and disrespecting women; especially mothers.
28. I have the privilege of not having black women, dress up and play funny characters- often overweight- that are supposed to look like me for the entire nation to laugh.
29. When I go to the movies, I know that most of the leads in black films are men. I also know that all of the action heroes in black film are men.
30. I can easily imagine that most of the artists in Hip Hop are members of my sex.
31. I can easily imagine that most of the women that appear in Hip Hop videos are there solely to please men
32. Most of lyrics I listen to in hip-hop perpetuate the ideas of males dominating women, sexually and socially.
33. I have the privilege of consuming and popularizing the word pimp, which is based on the exploitation of women with virtually no opposition from other men.
34. I can hear and use language bitches and hoes that demean women, with virtually no opposition from men.
35. I can wear a shirt that others and I commonly refer to as a "wife beater" and never have the language challenged.
36. Many of my favorite movies include images of strength that do not include members of the opposite sex and often are based on violence.
37. Many of my favorite genres of films, such as martial arts, are based on violence.
38. I have the privilege of popularizing or consuming the idea of a thug, which is based on the violence and victimization of others with virtually no opposition from other men.
Attitudes/Ideology
39. I have the privilege to define black women as having "an attitude" without referencing the range of attitudes that black women have.
40. I have the privilege of defining black women's attitudes without defining my attitudes as a black man.
41. I can believe that the success of the black family is dependent on returning men to their historical place within the family, rather than in promoting policies that strengthen black women's independence, or that provide social benefits to black children.
42. I have the privilege of believing that a woman cannot raise a son to be a man.
43. I have the privilege of believing that a woman must submit to her man.
44. I have the privilege of believing that before slavery gender relationships between black men and women were perfect.
45. I have the privilege of believing that feminism is anti-black.
46. I have the privilege of believing that the failure of the black family is due to the black matriarchy.
47. I have the privilege of believing that household responsibilities are women's roles.
48. I have the privilege of believing that black women are different sexually than other women and judging them negatively based on this belief.
Sports
49. I will make significantly more money as a professional athlete than members of the opposite sex will.
50. In school, girls are cheerleaders for male athletes, but there is no such role for males to cheerlead for women athletes.
51. My financial success or popularity as a professional athlete will not be associated with my looks.
52. I can talk about sports or spend large portions of the day playing video games while women are most likely involved with household or childcare duties.
53. I can spend endless hours watching sports TV and have it considered natural.
54. I can touch, hug, or be emotionally expressive with other men while watching sports without observers perceiving this behavior as sexual.
55. I know that most sports analysts are male.
56. If I am a coach, I can motivate, punish, or embarrass a player by saying that the player plays like a girl.
57. Most sports talk show hosts that are members of my race are men.
58. I can rest assured that most of the coaches -even in predominately-female sports within my race are male.
59. I am able to play sports outside without my shirt on and it not be considered a problem.
60. I am essentially able to do anything inside or outside without my shirt on, whereas women are always required to cover up.
Diaspora/Global
61. I have the privilege of being a part of a sex where the mutilation and disfigurement of a girl?s genitalia is used to deny her sexual sensations or to protect her virginity for males.
62. I have the privilege of not having rape be used as a primary tactic or tool to terrorize my sex during war and times of conflict.
63. I have the privilege of not being able to name one female leader in Africa or Asia, past or present, that I pay homage to the way I do male leaders in Africa and/or Asia.
64. I have the ability to travel around the world and have access to women in developing countries both sexually and socially.
65. I have the privilege of being a part of the sex that starts wars and that wields control of almost all the existing weapons of war and mass destruction.
College
66. In college, I will have the opportunity to date outside of the race at a much higher rate than black women will.
67. I have the privilege of having the phrase "sowing my wild oats" apply to my sex as if it were natural.
68. I know that the further I go in education the more success I will have with women.
69. In college, black male professors will be involved in interracial marriages at much higher rates than members of the opposite sex will.
70. By the time I enter college, and even through college, I have the privilege of not having to worry whether I will be able to marry a black woman.
71. In college, I will experience a level of status and prestige that is not offered to black women even though black women may outnumber me and out perform me academically.
72. If I go to an HBCU, I will have incredible opportunities to exploit black women
Communication/Language
73. What is defined as "News" in Black America is defined by men.
74. I can choose to be emotionally withdrawn and not communicate in a relationships and it be considered unfortunate but normal.
75. I can dismissively refer to another persons grievances as ^*ing.
76. I have the privilege of not knowing what words and concepts like patriarchy, phallocentric, complicity, colluding, and obfuscation mean.
Relationships
77. I have the privilege of marrying outside of the race at a much higher rate than black women marry.
78. My "strength" as a man is never connected with the failure of the black family, whereas the strength of black women is routinely associated with the failure of the black family.
79. If I am considering a divorce, I know that I have substantially more marriage, and cohabitation options than my spouse.
80. Chances are I will be defined as a "good man" by things I do not do as much as what I do. If I don't beat, cheat, or lie, then I am a considered a "good man". In comparison, women are rarely defined as "good women" based on what they do not do.
81. I have the privilege of not having to assume most of the household or child-care responsibilities.
82. I have the privilege of having not been raised with domestic responsibilities of cooking, cleaning, and washing that takes up disproportionately more time as adults.
Church & Religious Traditions
83. In the Black Church, the majority of the pastoral leadership is male.
84. In the Black Church Tradition, most of the theology has a male point of view. For example, most will assume that the man is the head of household.
Physical Safety
85. I do not have to worry about being considered a traitor to my race if I call the police on a member of the opposite sex.
86. I have the privilege of knowing men who are physically or sexually abusive to women and yet I still call them friends.
87. I can video tape women in public- often without their consent - with male complicity.
88. I can be courteous to a person of the opposite sex that I do not know and say "Hello" or "Hi" and not fear that it will be taken as a come-on or fear being stalked because of it.
89. I can use physical violence or the threat of physical violence to get what I want when other tactics fail in a relationship.
90. If I get into a physical altercation with a person of the opposite sex, I will most likely be able to impose my will physically on that person
91. I can go to parades or other public events and not worry about being physically and sexually molested by persons of the opposite sex.
92. I can touch and physically grope women's bodies in public- often without their consent- with male complicity.
93. In general, I have the freedom to travel in the night without fear.
94. I am able to be out in public without fear of being sexually harassed by individuals or groups of the opposite sex.
(And yes, a guy did write it - when I saw the name in the link, I thought it was authored by a woman, which made me uncomfortable. Not because I don't think that women can make these points and be credible - hell, it's happened before, even if they haven't all been present in the same place - but because I'm leery about anything that makes it easy for women to be dismissed as "man-haters" and for that to be taken as a synonym to "feminist." Make sense?)
I also think a lot of these items can be applied to men of color in general, as opposed to just black men, which is yet more food for thought.
Anyway, here is the list for your consideration... what do y'all make of it? I think it's provocative, and there are even some of them that I don't agree with, but I am all for uncomfortable points that get people talking about positive action. ^_^
The Black Male Privilege Checklist
Leadership & Politics
1. I don't have to choose my race over my sex in political matters.
2. When I read African American History textbooks, I will learn mainly about black men.
3. When I learn about the Civil Rights Movement & the Black Power Movements, most of the leaders that I will learn about will be black men.
4. I can rely on the fact that in the near 100-year history of national civil rights organizations such as the NAACP and the Urban League, virtually all of the executive directors have been male.
5. I will be taken more seriously as a political leader than black women.
6. Despite the substantial role that black women played in the Civil Rights Movement and Black Power Movement, currently there is no black female that is considered a "race leader".
7. I can live my life without ever having read black feminist authors, or knowing about black women's history, or black women's issues.
8. I can be a part of a black liberation organization like the Black Panther Party where an "out" rapist Eldridge Cleaver can assume leadership position.
9. I will make more money than black women at equal levels of education and occupation.
10. Most of the national "opinion framers" in Black America including talk show hosts and politicians are men.
Beauty
11. I have the ability to define black women's beauty by European standards in terms of skin tone, hair, and body size. In comparison, black women rarely define me by European standards of beauty in terms of skin tone, hair, or body size.
12. I do not have to worry about the daily hassles of having my hair conforming to any standard image of beauty the way black women do.
13. I do not have to worry about the daily hassles of being terrorized by the fear of gaining weight. In fact, in many instances bigger is better for my sex.
14. My looks will not be the central standard by which my worth is valued by members of the opposite sex.
Sex & Sexuality
15. I can purchase pornography that typically shows men defile women by the common practice of the "money shot.?
16. I can believe that causing pain during sex is connected with a woman's pleasure without ever asking her.
17. I have the privilege of not wanting to be a virgin, but preferring that my wife or significant other be a virgin.
18. When it comes to sex if I say "No", chances are that it will not be mistaken for ?Yes".
19. If I am raped, no one will assume that "I should have known better" or suggest that my being raped had something to do with how I was dressed.
20. I can use sexist language like bonin?, laying the pipe, hittin-it, and banging that convey images of sexual acts based on dominance and performance.
21. I can live in a world where polygamy is still an option for men in the United States as well as around the world.
22. In general, I prefer being involved with younger women socially and sexually
23. In general, the more sexual partners that I have the more stature I receive among my peers.
24. I have easy access to pornography that involves virtually any category of sex where men degrade women, often young women.
25. I have the privilege of being a part of a sex where "purity balls" apply to girls but not to boys.
26. When I consume pornography, I can gain pleasure from images and sounds of men causing women pain.
Popular Culture
27. I come from a tradition of humor that is based largely on insulting and disrespecting women; especially mothers.
28. I have the privilege of not having black women, dress up and play funny characters- often overweight- that are supposed to look like me for the entire nation to laugh.
29. When I go to the movies, I know that most of the leads in black films are men. I also know that all of the action heroes in black film are men.
30. I can easily imagine that most of the artists in Hip Hop are members of my sex.
31. I can easily imagine that most of the women that appear in Hip Hop videos are there solely to please men
32. Most of lyrics I listen to in hip-hop perpetuate the ideas of males dominating women, sexually and socially.
33. I have the privilege of consuming and popularizing the word pimp, which is based on the exploitation of women with virtually no opposition from other men.
34. I can hear and use language bitches and hoes that demean women, with virtually no opposition from men.
35. I can wear a shirt that others and I commonly refer to as a "wife beater" and never have the language challenged.
36. Many of my favorite movies include images of strength that do not include members of the opposite sex and often are based on violence.
37. Many of my favorite genres of films, such as martial arts, are based on violence.
38. I have the privilege of popularizing or consuming the idea of a thug, which is based on the violence and victimization of others with virtually no opposition from other men.
Attitudes/Ideology
39. I have the privilege to define black women as having "an attitude" without referencing the range of attitudes that black women have.
40. I have the privilege of defining black women's attitudes without defining my attitudes as a black man.
41. I can believe that the success of the black family is dependent on returning men to their historical place within the family, rather than in promoting policies that strengthen black women's independence, or that provide social benefits to black children.
42. I have the privilege of believing that a woman cannot raise a son to be a man.
43. I have the privilege of believing that a woman must submit to her man.
44. I have the privilege of believing that before slavery gender relationships between black men and women were perfect.
45. I have the privilege of believing that feminism is anti-black.
46. I have the privilege of believing that the failure of the black family is due to the black matriarchy.
47. I have the privilege of believing that household responsibilities are women's roles.
48. I have the privilege of believing that black women are different sexually than other women and judging them negatively based on this belief.
Sports
49. I will make significantly more money as a professional athlete than members of the opposite sex will.
50. In school, girls are cheerleaders for male athletes, but there is no such role for males to cheerlead for women athletes.
51. My financial success or popularity as a professional athlete will not be associated with my looks.
52. I can talk about sports or spend large portions of the day playing video games while women are most likely involved with household or childcare duties.
53. I can spend endless hours watching sports TV and have it considered natural.
54. I can touch, hug, or be emotionally expressive with other men while watching sports without observers perceiving this behavior as sexual.
55. I know that most sports analysts are male.
56. If I am a coach, I can motivate, punish, or embarrass a player by saying that the player plays like a girl.
57. Most sports talk show hosts that are members of my race are men.
58. I can rest assured that most of the coaches -even in predominately-female sports within my race are male.
59. I am able to play sports outside without my shirt on and it not be considered a problem.
60. I am essentially able to do anything inside or outside without my shirt on, whereas women are always required to cover up.
Diaspora/Global
61. I have the privilege of being a part of a sex where the mutilation and disfigurement of a girl?s genitalia is used to deny her sexual sensations or to protect her virginity for males.
62. I have the privilege of not having rape be used as a primary tactic or tool to terrorize my sex during war and times of conflict.
63. I have the privilege of not being able to name one female leader in Africa or Asia, past or present, that I pay homage to the way I do male leaders in Africa and/or Asia.
64. I have the ability to travel around the world and have access to women in developing countries both sexually and socially.
65. I have the privilege of being a part of the sex that starts wars and that wields control of almost all the existing weapons of war and mass destruction.
College
66. In college, I will have the opportunity to date outside of the race at a much higher rate than black women will.
67. I have the privilege of having the phrase "sowing my wild oats" apply to my sex as if it were natural.
68. I know that the further I go in education the more success I will have with women.
69. In college, black male professors will be involved in interracial marriages at much higher rates than members of the opposite sex will.
70. By the time I enter college, and even through college, I have the privilege of not having to worry whether I will be able to marry a black woman.
71. In college, I will experience a level of status and prestige that is not offered to black women even though black women may outnumber me and out perform me academically.
72. If I go to an HBCU, I will have incredible opportunities to exploit black women
Communication/Language
73. What is defined as "News" in Black America is defined by men.
74. I can choose to be emotionally withdrawn and not communicate in a relationships and it be considered unfortunate but normal.
75. I can dismissively refer to another persons grievances as ^*ing.
76. I have the privilege of not knowing what words and concepts like patriarchy, phallocentric, complicity, colluding, and obfuscation mean.
Relationships
77. I have the privilege of marrying outside of the race at a much higher rate than black women marry.
78. My "strength" as a man is never connected with the failure of the black family, whereas the strength of black women is routinely associated with the failure of the black family.
79. If I am considering a divorce, I know that I have substantially more marriage, and cohabitation options than my spouse.
80. Chances are I will be defined as a "good man" by things I do not do as much as what I do. If I don't beat, cheat, or lie, then I am a considered a "good man". In comparison, women are rarely defined as "good women" based on what they do not do.
81. I have the privilege of not having to assume most of the household or child-care responsibilities.
82. I have the privilege of having not been raised with domestic responsibilities of cooking, cleaning, and washing that takes up disproportionately more time as adults.
Church & Religious Traditions
83. In the Black Church, the majority of the pastoral leadership is male.
84. In the Black Church Tradition, most of the theology has a male point of view. For example, most will assume that the man is the head of household.
Physical Safety
85. I do not have to worry about being considered a traitor to my race if I call the police on a member of the opposite sex.
86. I have the privilege of knowing men who are physically or sexually abusive to women and yet I still call them friends.
87. I can video tape women in public- often without their consent - with male complicity.
88. I can be courteous to a person of the opposite sex that I do not know and say "Hello" or "Hi" and not fear that it will be taken as a come-on or fear being stalked because of it.
89. I can use physical violence or the threat of physical violence to get what I want when other tactics fail in a relationship.
90. If I get into a physical altercation with a person of the opposite sex, I will most likely be able to impose my will physically on that person
91. I can go to parades or other public events and not worry about being physically and sexually molested by persons of the opposite sex.
92. I can touch and physically grope women's bodies in public- often without their consent- with male complicity.
93. In general, I have the freedom to travel in the night without fear.
94. I am able to be out in public without fear of being sexually harassed by individuals or groups of the opposite sex.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by BlaqJeff on -
Much of what he said can easily be applied to white men, Hispanic men, Asian men...hell, just men in general.
Black men don't treat Black women any different that white men treat white women. Trust me on that one.
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Permalink Reply by Mlle d. Sade on -
BlackJeff said:Much of what he said can easily be applied to white men, Hispanic men, Asian men...hell, just men in general.
Black men don't treat Black women any different that white men treat white women. Trust me on that one.
And? Doesn't make any difference or any exception to the thing itself or the topic. That is not the issue in question. Black men need to realize that they too are to be held equally accountable for *their* (independent) sexism and know that white people didn't cause it/aren't the cause of the problem. Accountability. Instead of passing the buck to white oppression.
Within the larger race struggle for equality is the seldom addressed male face of black freedom. No one talks about that and apparently, no one wants to.
Some of the things on that list are black specific or damn close to it. This isn't about other races and how they do the same thing, this is about OUR race.
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Permalink Reply by OroroMonroe on -
BlackJeff said:Much of what he said can easily be applied to white men, Hispanic men, Asian men...hell, just men in general.
Black men don't treat Black women any different that white men treat white women. Trust me on that one.
I'll second what Hell Cat said, and add something. It would be presumptuous of me to speak on behalf of all black women, whether about the way we're treated by black men or some other issue. By the same token, it's presumptuous of you to make a statement on behalf of all black men. And the "trust me on that one" comes across as condescending, but I'll let that go.
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Permalink Reply by Obsidian on -
I second that. The problems of Black men encompasses those of all men (one of the author's points in writing the list, I presume) as well as those which have that unique Black spin.
Lets look at an example taken from the list and expanded:
Men on one hand can look however they want, roughly, and still be respected by both their own sex. Women on the other hand must always look clean and what our society defines as feminine. The unique Black twist is that for Black women, not only must they conform to that "clean and feminine" standard in order to be respected as a female and person, they must also conform to western standards of femininity, and "kinky woolly" natural hair is not considered neat nor feminine by our society. And to make it worse, Black men will disrespect us if we do not conform to this standard; while they would respect a white woman who may not be clean and feminine but conforms to western standards of femininity. It's the exceptional Black man to the usual rule that will be cool with us Black woman if we have "kinky woolly" natural hair. Usually we would either have to be extremely European in facial features, or garner respect in other ways in order to be valued as a person if we don't submit to the relaxers and facial lighteners and other crap that's forced on us. And worse, we count on our own sex to respect us if we do not conform. They're just as much regulators of conforming as males.
Basically.
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Permalink Reply by Kaos Blac on -
I can agree that this list can be generalized for the better part of all male society, but in terms of appearance
"11. I have the ability to define black women's beauty by European standards in terms of skin tone, hair, and body size. In comparison, black women rarely define me by European standards of beauty in terms of skin tone, hair, or body size.
12. I do not have to worry about the daily hassles of having my hair conforming to any standard image of beauty the way black women do."
This is strictly black thing. That Black men tend to go for Black women who ascribe to a more eurocentic ideal of beauty and shy away from Black women who embrace there own looks. i think This is one of the more horrid traits in Black male culture. The bad part is that they cant even see what they're doing.
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Permalink Reply by LesYpersound on -
BlackJeff said:Much of what he said can easily be applied to white men, Hispanic men, Asian men...hell, just men in general.
Black men don't treat Black women any different that white men treat white women. Trust me on that one.
I guess if you exclude american jewish men that would be true....maybe. but no, there are differences to be sure, just that the common theme is the dehumanization/commodification/shitty treatment of women.
Anyway, it doesn't even matter that the list encompasses attitudes/behaviors white men may have as well. If it's true for black men then why shouldn't it be listed as well? it is a Black AND Male privilege checklist afterall... in otherwords, right on to Hell Cat's first paragraph...stop trying to pass the blame or even share the 'blame' with white men.
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Permalink Reply by BlaqJeff on
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Hell Cat said:BlackJeff said:Much of what he said can easily be applied to white men, Hispanic men, Asian men...hell, just men in general.
Black men don't treat Black women any different that white men treat white women. Trust me on that one.
And? Doesn't make any difference or any exception to the thing itself or the topic. That is not the issue in question. Black men need to realize that they too are to be held equally accountable for *their* (independent) sexism and know that white people didn't cause it/aren't the cause of the problem. Accountability. Instead of passing the buck to white oppression.
Within the larger race struggle for equality is the seldom addressed male face of black freedom. No one talks about that and apparently, no one wants to.
Some of the things on that list are black specific or damn close to it. This isn't about other races and how they do the same thing, this is about OUR race.
Damn! I thought I was safe to express my Black Male opinions...and you show up out of nowhere.
CURSES!
How the hell are ya! :-)
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Permalink Reply by BlaqJeff on
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Seriously, I think that you ladies think that black men treat you worse than any other ethnicity/race. I've seen all kinds of men treat their women like shit! Of course there are differences because of culture, economic circumstances etc... but damn, y'all are not that unique.
What I'm trying to say is, at the end of the day, folks are not that much different.
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Permalink Reply by Mlle d. Sade on
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BlackJeff said:
\Seriously, I think that you ladies think that black men treat you worse than any other ethnicity/race. I've seen all kinds of men treat their women like shit! Of course there are differences because of culture, economic circumstances etc... but damn, y'all are not that unique.
What I'm trying to say is, at the end of the day, folks are not that much different.
No, we think everyone can treat women like shit. Don't get butt sore just because the spotlight is on black men this time. I think we are much more concerned about our own people and how this silence affects us.
I'm fine, thank you. ^__^
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Permalink Reply by BlaqJeff on
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Hell Cat said:BlackJeff said:
\Seriously, I think that you ladies think that black men treat you worse than any other ethnicity/race. I've seen all kinds of men treat their women like shit! Of course there are differences because of culture, economic circumstances etc... but damn, y'all are not that unique.
What I'm trying to say is, at the end of the day, folks are not that much different.
No, we think everyone can treat women like shit. Don't get butt sore just because the spotlight is on black men this time. I think we are much more concerned about our own people and how this silence affects us.
I'm fine, thank you. ^__^
Black women(all women) have to learn how to take care of themselves first, then you'll be better able to recognize a man(Black, white or whatever) who can take care of you the way you deserve to be taken care of.
Empower yourself.
That's good to hear. ;-}
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Permalink Reply by Mlle d. Sade on
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BlackJeff said:Hell Cat said:BlackJeff said:
\Seriously, I think that you ladies think that black men treat you worse than any other ethnicity/race. I've seen all kinds of men treat their women like shit! Of course there are differences because of culture, economic circumstances etc... but damn, y'all are not that unique.
What I'm trying to say is, at the end of the day, folks are not that much different.
No, we think everyone can treat women like shit. Don't get butt sore just because the spotlight is on black men this time. I think we are much more concerned about our own people and how this silence affects us.
I'm fine, thank you. ^__^
Black women(all women) have to learn how to take care of themselves first, then you'll be better able to recognize a man(Black, white or whatever) who can take care of you the way you deserve to be taken care of.
Empower yourself.
That's good to hear. ;-}
If that were in any way what that list was about. Keep on passing that buck. . . ..and keep on being condscending without even realize the disrespect you are doing right now. Keep on being a fine example. Do you honestly think that any of us women here DON'T know what you just said? Do you honestly think we needed you to tell US that? Are you able to come up with nothing else? Whenever you and other men are ready for some real talk on this subject instead of trying to rationalize it away and coming off as a condscending prick just because you want to dismiss something. ....
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Permalink Reply by Obsidian on
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Oh to the lack of personal accountability. But, society nurtures us to be like this so I blame society and not "a" black man or "a" male. The analysis is that Black men have some unique privileges compared to Black women. As a Black female to Black males - no, it's not your fault that these things came about; but, if you are reveling in these privileges then does that not make you accountable for you are perpetuating these ills? I'm accountable for all sorts of atrocities for merely being a Westerner. I've echoed this opinion in another topic here on ap - white privilege. We are all accountable for something because we all hold privileges for living in this part or the world or living in our respective families. We did not chose to be born here, but we were and in full knowledge of what we do, we sow a lot of filth. So, a little accountability in ones life is a strength of character, not something about which to be defensive.
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